This blog is probably going to be one of the hardest one that I will ever publish.

As some of you may already know, my dog of 16 years passed away a little bit before noon on Tuesday. Her life is a complete miracle. She was diagnosed with a tumor in January of 2008 and was only given at the most six months to live. Needless to say, she lived much longer than that! Hallelujah!

Her name is Dixie. We found her in our yard at the end of the summer of 1993. She is the sweetest puppy you will ever meet. She had a wonderful personality. I know that I could count on her being there after a hard and stressful day.

Her body had developed (what I could consider) a very bad case of arthritis, which inhibited her from walking as well as she used to. She could get up and going, but sometimes she would fall and get stuck which then would require assistance to get up. Her sister, Shadow was very good at reporting that Dixie needed help. It is great how dogs communicate for one another.

Dixie had a rough day on Monday. My mother was telling me that she had started giving a yelp every now and again, which my parents rendered as she could not get comfortable. My mom and dad spent a lot of time with her on Monday night, until she settled down and went to sleep about 12:30am.

The next morning, Dixie continued her yelping. My parents were both very upset at this point. Before my dad went to work on Tuesday, they had discussed what they were going to do for her. My mom spent most of the morning sitting by her side, petting her and just spending time with her. My mom knew that she was not feeling well.

About 11:50am on Tuesday, Dixie took her last breath here with us. Her body was tired after 16 glorious years blessing our lives everyday. Soon after, my mom called my dad and he came home from work immediately. Dad, bless his heart, spent the afternoon in the backyard digging a hole to place her in to rest. They placed her in there with her bed and some rugs that Dixie had around her bed for her comfort. I do not know how they pulled it off, I would have been a complete basket-case if I was there.

Life is a blessing. At the same time, it is a vapor. One minute, someone you love is her, and the next they are gone...at peace. Away from the pains, frustrations and difficulties that this world brings.

I already do and will continue to miss Dixie a lot, as I know that my family is as well. She was a great puppy. We have great memories. She is at rest now. Not suffering or anything. She lived a good life and I am very glad that we got to share the moments we did together. She went to rest on her own. It was not medicated...

Mommy, Daddy and Diana...This is tough for all of us. But I want to thank you for your commitment to her. You are wonderful. I couldn't have even asked for a better family to be a part of. You gave her the best life that was possible, always provided medications when needed and made her be as comfortable as possible while she was sick these last few years. I love you guys. Thank you for everything.

Dixie, I love you girl. I will always have a special place in my heart for you. We will see you again one day. I just know it. I hope you have a peaceful rest.

To GOD be the Glory,

-Ken

Labels: committment, Dixie, dogs, family, friendships, heaven, love, loyal, parents, peace, puppies, shadow, sorrow

Ending my trip to Atlanta, I enjoyed a great night at church and dinner with the Hurst family. I made the decision to drive back to Florida after that, which would put me back in Orlando at 6am. I tend to prefer to drive at night because there are fewer people on the roads and it brings good time to listen to music, watch movies and think about things.

I left Atlanta at about 11:30pm that evening. Things were fine, I made some phone calls as I drove and talked to a few people before they went to bed, which is what I typically do. My mind was committed to driving all night to arrive at my destination. Every part of me believed that I could do it. It hit me...about in Macon, GA. The fatigue was bearing down on me. It was at that time I began questioning my decision to drive after a long day. My mind was made up to drive and make it back, but I had to respect the fact that my body was exhausted after a long day of worship and fellowship with friends and family. It was then when I called a hotel and made an amendment to my plan to stop and sleep for the night.

I checked in and went right to sleep. I woke up at about 10:15am and continued my trip. I made it back safely. It is now, that I think back upon my trip and wonder if I really could have made the trip safely in that state. Was I really that tired?

Oftentimes in our lives, we over commit to things we want. In friendships / relationships, goals, jobs or projects. Although our intentions are good from the front, sometimes the fatigue sets in and in reality the goal can not be accomplished. But how will you compensate for the change? Will you do the right thing and find a safe medium to solve the problem? Or, perhaps will you continue, even though the warning signs are present and risk making a big mistake and loosing everything or something that is important to you?

Make the right decision. Listen to the warning signs. I will be the first to admit that I am a stubborn person, but trust me, you will be a better person for it. Believe it or not...

-Ken

Labels: Atlanta, committment, decision, drive, fatigue, Orlando, overcommitment, stubborn, tired

I have always struggled with them. The go great...then for no reason, always seem to come to a screeching halt. Why? Is it that I give up to soon? Have "tunnel vision" and only want thing to go my way...then they don't and I give up?

I believe the correct answer lies as a combination of the two above. I have a set way that I want things to be...and if someone does not agree with that, I take it personal. I have come to the realization that not everyone is going to be marching at the beat of my own drum and that differences is what makes us all unique.

In the fall of 2008, I had a friend that I was getting close to. A young lad that is an amazing guy. One night, we were chatting on the phone and although it was not the best of conversation topics, (meaning something dear to me) he mistakenly said something that did not settle right with me. Did I at that point ask for clarification? Oh no. I got defensive and offended. Was that the right reaction? No.

Days after that had happened, I felt terrible. But I figured that he had given up on the friendship that we had. He too struggles with Friendships just as I struggle. People come and go...no one is one hundred percent committed, besides him. For that I felt terrible for my reaction to the situation. I battled with this for months.

But I worked through some things, forgiveness was given. Tonight, I had the pleasure of having dinner with him at a very nice restaurant, Copeland's in Buckhead. We had a joyful time of fellowship and then the bitter-sweet moment of confrontation of the events last fall.

During that time, we talked through things, and we are on the road to recovery. God works in mysterious ways, but they always turn out for the best. There are still hurt feelings, but I think that time, trust and love will bring healing.

-Ken

Labels: committment, Copeland's Atlanta, forgiveness, friendships, love, mistakes, relationships, struggle